


Thank You

by Satans_Fukcmeat



Series: Will you join us? [4]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Eventual Fluff, M/M, Sort Of, Unreliable Narrator, we're getting closer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:49:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23952586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Satans_Fukcmeat/pseuds/Satans_Fukcmeat
Summary: They talk.
Relationships: Choi San/Park Seonghwa
Series: Will you join us? [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1693192
Comments: 6
Kudos: 43





	Thank You

**Author's Note:**

> I am looking forward to feedback and suggestions. 
> 
> These works are pieces of creative writing and the events are not real. 
> 
> Communication is key, guys.

Seonghwa looked up in surprise, oh how the tables had turned all of a sudden - but Seonghwa caught himself again after a second of staring up at San blankly. "Sure, come in." San grimaced in uncomfortable uncertainty and Seonghwa sat up to make room for the younger one to sit down on the bed as there was no other oportunity to sit.

Seonghwa gave San a look for him to start; after all he had come to see the older one, hadn't he? "Um... ," San stuttered and fidgetted his fingers in his lap, chin hidden away in the collar of his soft-pink sweater. "Hyung... I wanted to tell you something important." Seonghwa smirked slightly but nodded to let San know he was all ears. "I, um, just in case, I mean, so we won't misunderstand each other..."

Seonghwa needed to concentrate; San was so sweet, wasn't he? So nervous and considerate not to accuse or blame anyone of anything. Seonghwa could listen to his voice for ever when San spoke like this; in a pout and it caused his voice to go up higher in pitch. "Just, don't get me wrong, please hyung, but I don't like you," San looked up nervously before his eyes widened in panic. "Li-like that! I mean... I don't like you like that, you know?", he added and his chest heaved with deep breaths.

"Like... what?" Seonghwa played dumb and he wondered how San actually, seriously tried to explain himself as if it wasn't the most obvious thing that Seonghwa exactly knew how he was playing with San's mind. Oh, the poor boy. A lot of stuttering later, Seonghwa grinned and cooed at San, sympathetic towards his concerns about the other's feelings. "San, you're the sweetest, do you know that?" Seonghwa reached over and squeezed San's shoulder slightly. It was endearing how San's eyes had become big and round, his cheekbones seemed even more prominent than before.

San pressed his lips together into a thin line and his dimples showed. He didn't know what to make of Seonghwa's compliment. His eyes casted down to the floor but he nodded slightly. "I only thought, just in case there was any misunderstanding." He waited for an answer but Seonghwa only eyed him. "Wooyoung mentioned it, so I thought I should tell you."

Now Seonghwa squinted, "What did Wooyoung mention?" His voice hightened a little in pitch but rather like a hiss than in a cute way. San's eyes widen for a split second at the change in mood and looked up. "Um, just, he asked whether I liked you, because he thought you liked me."

"Did he," Seonghwa responded ambiguously and averted his eyes in thoughts. San didn't know what to make of his reaction and licked his lips. "B-but are we good, hyung?" he asked then, coming back to what he was here for, "I mean no misunderstandings? You're not disappoited or something, right?" The older one looked back at him and stared for a moment before he boke into a soft smile, "Of course not, San-ah. We're totally fine. I mean nothing really ever happened between us, did it? There was no misunderstanding at all."

For a short moment, San's eyes widened again when Seonghwa said nothing had ever happened between them. What was Seonghwa then doing when he had overpowered San in his room? Should he ask? He didn't mean to offend Seonghwa; especially since there was no harm done, right? If San questioned it now, he would have come into Seonghwa's room while he was relaxing, suggested he was interessted in San and even interrogate him about a minor incident - that seemed nothing but rude to San.

San then just nodded after he realised he spaced out, "Yeah, of course. There was nothing," he smiled awkwardly. "How are you doing otherwise?" Seonghwa's voice was steady but he knew the question was provoking, "Have you told anyone?" he added and his eyes turned darker. This time, San couldn't hide how his own eyes widened at the indication. "Um, no. I didn't," he whispered, his mouth went dry and his throat felt like it was constricted. "And... How are you?"

Seonghwa huffed amusedly through his nose, "I could use a session of cuddles," he smiled as if it were a random thought, "Do you want to?", he offered and shifted again as an invitation for San to come closer. San kept silent and still for another painfully awkward few seconds until he decided he couldn't deny if Seonghwa asked him like that. It was to prove they were fine, right?

San nodded and slowly semi-crawled over and in front of Seonghwa so the older one could spoon him. It felt strange, even when Seonghwa hummed in aproval and breathed into San's neck. They both stayed silent for some minutes which San used to calm down. It's Seonghwa-hyung, he told himself, they had cuddled countless times before.

Of course, Seonghwa could feel San's heartbeat due to the way he was pressed against his back, and he really enjoyed the fast, almost panicked pace a little too much, he had to admitt, so he waited until it slowed down before he spoke. "You know, I appreciate it that you didn't tell anyone. It means a lot," he whispered genuinely and rewarded San with some soft pecks in his neck. "But as I said, we are not done, right?" Of course it was not a question, San knew, he nodded anyway. "First of all, I should apologize. I acted very impulsive. I never planed to surprised you like that." San jerked the slightest, his jaw already began to hurt from how tense he was. He didn't know how to act, but he wanted to listen. "You have to forgive me, You looked so pretty when you were scared," he added hushedly, only above a whisper; Seonghwa was glad San couldn't see him blush. Though, San almost turned around fully when he heard these words; it was so weird to him. Why would Seonghwa like to see him scared?!

"Hyung... ," he said and tensed with his full body, but Seonghwa only wrapped his arms around him tighter to keep him in place. "I- I don'," San wanted to protest in any way, and Seonghwa didn't cut him off. It was San's very right to be confused. But he trailed off without ending his arguement. "I won't force you, Sannie, but I really want you. I know, it's confusing what I'm saying. Sort of contradicts, hm?" San nodded and willed the burning sensation in his eyes away. There was no need to cry!

"Sannie," Seonghwa started again, and pressed his lips to San's neck. "You don't have to do anything, and I also don't want to really scare you... I only really like the look on your face when you are." Seonghwa made sure to speak in a steady and calm voice. Not even to lure San in, but to avoid a stressful vibe, as well as to give San the chance to interfere. "I like to make you react to me as if you were scared, but I will make sure you're safe."

San remained silent in Seonghwa's arms and even curled into himself a little. "Hyung... That sounds... really weird", he almost whined, he didn't know how to put it. "I know it does. That's why I tell you about it. I should have talked to you before I acted. I want you to know what's going to happen, and what I want from you. I want to give you the opportunity to safely and sanely make a decision. I don't want an answer right now, I want you to think about it first." In San's ears, Seonghwa suddenly sounded so serious with a hint of a growl in his voice.

San swallowed, "What exactly is it that you want?" Seonghwa hummed and started so softly roam his hands over San's chest, side and arm, then he licked his lips. "I want... It's like a role play. Like acting. I want us to act as if you were scared of me," Seonghwa tried to explained it without too much euphemism. "But," San frowned as it was not the answer he wanted, "Is it sexual? Like ... some BDSM thing?" It caught Seonghwa off guard, he should have thought about this piece of information first.

"Um, well," San broke out in a small smile when Seonghwa couldn't hide his stutter. "It doesn't have to be sex, you know. But it definitely is somewhat related to a sexual fantasy of mine." San paused, "You fantasise about me being scared of you?" The older one was amazed at how suddenly San spoke so casually about it, but on second thought he smirked when he realised San was curious.

"It doesn't have to be you; it could be anyone," Seonghwa corrected sternly, "But you just happened to have pretty face. Especially when you cry. And your body is almost tiny in relation to mine. It makes you so much more attractive and fitting for it." San took the words in and debated whether it was a compliment or not, then he decided to provoke. "But Hongjoong-hyung is even smaller than me. Why don't you ask him?" San hoped his voice sounded petty to Seonghwa; if Seonghwa wanted to play with him, San could also do just that, too. But Seonghwa saw right through him and leaned over to husk into San's ear, voice low, "That sounds good. Imagine I tie you down and make you watch while I have my way with Hongjoongie." 

San gasped and pressed his thighs together, "Hyung," he whined helplessly. "Or I'll ask him instead and leave you to hump your plushie,s" Seonghwa went on and San whimpered; his heartbeat picked up again and heat rushed to his face. "It- it wasn't the plushie," he argued weakly in a pout. "As I said, you can say no and will totally accept that," Seonghwa said in an unfazed concluding tone while he brought back some space between him and San.

San choked back a disappointed huff when the warmth on his back disappeared. Now he was getting sulky; why would Seonghwa be so soft and soothing only to strike him like that? His face heated up again and he curled further into himself, now from distress. He considered to stand up and leave, even though Seonghwa only meant to taunt a little - after San taunted first. He sighed and relaxed his shoulders. "Was that too much?" Seonghwa was back to cuddle with San and almost hovered above him. He pecked San somewhere between his jaw and cheek and smiled, "Let's talk some more before we make plans, yeah?"

San turned his head and looked into Seonghwa's eyes. They were gleaming despite the shadow casted on his face. His features were soft and inviting; San nodded. "If I wanted Hongjoong-hyung, I would probably ask him, but he's a little to stiff and leader-y for my taste. I doubt he would submit to me," Seonghwa continued where he had left San hanging before. "I'd really like to see you beneath me, shivering and with tears in your eyes as if I was dangerous. And you'd become really pliant and docile." The images popping up in Seonghwa's head gave him goosebumbs, and his eyes unfocused for a moment. San was mesmerised when he witnessed how deepely it seemed to affect the older one; it must have been a shit-ton of self-control to keep talking about it while San was literally laying beneath him - But Seonghwa kept his cool.

It evoked a new sense of trust in San. He remerbered Seonghwa apologised several times about acting on impulse, and that he meant to talk first anyway. Seonghwa was absolutely serious and wanted San to know about his options without pushing a decision onto him; it warmed his heart. "And... what would do do to make me scared and crying?" San asked in a tiny voice, drawn into Seonghwa's thoughts. Seonghwa's eyes snapped back and looked at San before he spoke again.

"Easy stuff. Especially if we have only started. Somethings like following you, staring at you, cornering you, and say dirty things. I'd... I'd need... I need it to be convincing, San," it sounded like a warning. "It would be hard to just jump into a scene. I don't know about you but I don- I ca- ," Seonghwa stopped and sighed a little annoyed. He had only ever imagined he'd come this far, and needed to find the right words. "It wouldn't be convincing for me to see you crying and all if I don't feel like I gave you a reason to cry... If that makes sense," Seongha winced silently.

"You want to be a creep and I should be the victim but... you don't want to actually assault me", San tried to paraphrase it and Seonghwa nodded. This made sense, a lot even. "Yes," Seonghwa cheered softly and waited for another reaction of San. He didn't seem like he was overly happy with the idea, but San's consent was a lot more imprant than Seonghwa's orgasms if he wanted to make it happen. "As I said, San, and I will remind you again and again; I am not going to force you. And I will keep telling you what I have in mind before I do anything. If you agree, I want you to want this, too."

They held each other's gaze for some minutes. It was intense and San felt his whole body tingling. This was like a whole new level of intimacy; not just physically, but emotionally. San was endeared by how Seonghwa opened up to him like this, and relaxed under him. His whole chest sunk down into itself when he softly exhaled. Seonghwa, on the other hand, loved to see San staring up at him like that, he looked so much smaller within the matter of seconds. He could actually get used to it, but only if these eyes were glossy and puffy from crying. 

"Thank you."

Their eyes widened simultaneously before they broke out into a fit of giggles. "Why would you thank me?" Seonghwa asked and smirked. San shrugged, "You just entrusted me with something intimate. I don't think you'd tell anyone randomly. So, thank you for trusting me even though I haven't given you an answer yet." Seonghwa resited to urge to lean down and kiss San roughly - He really wante to just wreck him. Luckily San also pulled him from his thoughts. "Why do you thank me?"

"Because you listened. I know what I'm asking is a lot and not the most common thing you'd come across every day. Thank you for being respectful and understanding." San thought he understood how much Seonghwa was pressured by the situation and how much he took upon himself to come to terms with his thoughts, with his desire, with his actions and the fear of being rejected by San, eve nthough San played a major role in it. San knew these words were genuine and Seonghwa meant them from deep down within him.

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to point out typos, grammar errors, loop holes, etc. 
> 
> Stay safe and healthy. For everyone who will be working again starting on Monday, I wish you all the best and that you'll hang in there. People are still and will be going crazy and I believe it (the partial re-opening) won't last long anyway. I hope all of your families and friends are alright and your only worries are "How to get from the bed to the fridge and back without moving?"


End file.
